Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Wedding Wednesday: How to Handle the "No's"

Hey y'all! Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet. I'm linking up for Wedding Wednesday , What's Hap-Pinning, and Falling for Fall with some lovely ladies so check out their pages too! If you read my last post you saw that this past weekend was jam packed with wedding prep up in Cleveland. Last night during dinner Brian and I were talking about the wedding and he said, "I bet it's hard for you when people you're working with for the wedding tell you no. You worked at Disney for so long and was trained to say yes as much as possible so I bet you get a lot more mad about things then I see" and just like that today's post was born. I'm going to share how I got over the "no's" I've faced over the past year and do my best to keep it light for you and sprinkle in some more engagement pics by Arastasia Photography.


The Ceremony Crisis

As many of you know from my "Advice for the Catholic Bride" post I'm a new Catholic and didn't realize or understand all the requirements that a Catholic marriage requires. Before we decided to get married in a church we had picked and booked a beautiful location for the ceremony. We planned to get married at Morley Music Hall on the campus of Brian's alma mater, Lake Erie College. When I started to look for an officiant I reached out to a priest I remembered hearing about from Brian's family to see if he could marry us. I was thrilled when he said he could and quickly shocked when he said it had to be in his church. I asked if ANY priest would marry us outside of a Catholic church and he said nope, not really...unless you're on your getting married on your deathbed at the hospital the whole marriage in the church was pretty universal. I was so mad, not at Father Pete, but every stupid movie I had ever seen with a priest marrying people somewhere other than a church! I eventually got past that and we began our search for a church (haha) in Cleveland. Many caught my eye but when Brian proposed the idea of getting married in the church his parents were married in I thought it was so sweet. The church it not the gorgeous cathedral my newly Catholic self pictured but the meaning behind it is more beautiful than any building could be. When we visited it last weekend I had an overwhelming calm come over me and knew it really was the perfect place for us.



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The Dress Debacle

I briefly touched on this a few posts ago but here's the long and short of it. Last November I went dress shopping with my mom, aunts, cousins, and bestie, Sarah when I was home for Thanksgiving. It was a fun experience and so special since mine is the first "big" wedding in my immediate family. After trying on a ton of dresses I my friend Sarah found one that everyone, including myself, loved. Everyone cheered, we took pictures, and my mom bought the dress. Flash forward to when we decided to get married in the we're getting married in, I was asked if I had my dress and when I emailed a photo I was told it needed to not be "so revealing" at the top. I worked with a seamstress to see what adding fabric would look like but ultimately the additional made it look terrible...I faced the fact that I had to get a new dress. I remember crying by myself and feeling so embarrassed to have to tell everyone {especially my mom} that took the time to go shopping with me that I wasn't going to be in "our" dress. I was afraid of the not so excited reactions from whatever new dress I picked and when that happened I will admit that my feelings were hurt but I knew being hurt wasn't going to get me anywhere. After looking through some new dresses and getting them approved through the church before trying them on I drove out to Kennesaw, GA to try on a few. The dress I liked most ended up being wonderful. Even though it was just me and the salesgirl I was so overwhelmed with excitement and knew this was the dress I was going to get married in. Obviously I'm not going to tell you what my new one looks like but the great thing is in 24 days you'll get to see it all over instagram! The lesson I learned here was some things are out of your control. You can either sob about it for days or have a quick ugly cry alone in your car and move on! I highly recommend the second option...saves you some major cash on mascara.
                                                               


This One Takes the Cake...Literally

I'll be blunt, I'm not a fan of the event coordinator at our reception venue however she is the only thing I don't like about it. The rest of the staff (especially my future brother-in-law) is amazing and the chef is out of this world so that keeps me going. Among her frantic demeanor and general attitude the thing that bothers me the most is that she does exactly what you aren't supposed to do in her profession and that's not accommodating simple requests. Long story short we're having different flavors of cupcakes instead of a big cake and when I asked to have PUMPKIN SPICE and was told no I LOST IT! Like "basic white girl in her North Face/Uggs ensemble at Starbuck's when they run out of PSL" lost it! I could've been featured on Bridezillas...then The Soup. I guess the reason I was so upset is the fact that we're getting married in OCTOBER aka prime pumpkin season and considering I've seen pumpkin flavored water I could not handle being told she "couldn't get" pumpkin cupcakes. Once I CTFD I called a local bakery that Brian loves to get a quote on cupcakes and see if they could do pumpkin ones and the woman laughed when I asked and was like, "sweetheart it's October in Ohio...of course I can do pumpkin!" Just like that Gartman's Model Bakery tamed the pumpkin beast inside of me...at a lower price than the venue! I felt like a total boss when I called and cancelled the cupcake order at our reception venue. For y'all reading this that are coming to our wedding savor those damn pumpkin cupcakes and shout from the mountain tops how divine they are (preferably in front of said event lady) and I'll love you forever!
                                                 

As I wrote these I realize how ridiculous it may sound to you panicking over things like this but I blame Pinterest for making me think the PERFECT wedding is achievable. I know things will go wrong and I know there's a chance someone will comment on how our church isn't pretty or that they don't like my dress. But heaven help the person who bitches about the pumpkin cupcakes because I will walk down to the pro shop, grab a 9 iron, and go Elin Woods on your @$$!

***Sorry for the cursing and please realize I'm very sarcastic***  

ALSO!!! My childhood bestie, Lauren {Statler} McKillop launched her own event company REN+OTT EVENTS and my blog is featured on her website. Do yourself a huge favor and check her out, she's amazingly creative and David Tutera better watch out!

How did you handle the no's? What changes did you have to make to your wedding because of them? Will you still read my blog after this post? I sure hope so! LOL


16 comments:

  1. Those are all legitimate reasons to get worked up or upset. I would be devastated if my dream dress I was told I could no longer wear. I'm glad you found someone to make you pumpkin cupcakes because that is so October && I'm sure they will be delicious! I look forward to seeing more as your wedding comes together!

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  2. Those are very real reasons to be upset. I think you handled it very nicely. I'm not sure I would have handled it as well as you. I totally would be telling that girl off. Planning a wedding is very stressful. You are doing a great job and your wedding will be amazing!

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  3. My husband was baptized Catholic but I am Methodist and did not want to convert [he didn't care, not practicing] so we were married in my church. I wanted to serve Communion as our first act as husband and wife and thought I would be able to get a priest to help honor all of his family who are practicing Catholics. Nope, no dice and I was heartbroken for a bit, but after my husband talked to his family realized they understood and my pastor did a great job explaining the purpose of Communion for everyone.

    I'm so sorry about your dress, that's such a bummer. I had to wear a scarf over a bridesmaids dress because it was strapless, which boggled my mind. It was very tasteful but oh well. I'm glad you were able to find another dress you loved.

    Who doesn't serve pumpkin in October??!!? That place be cray! Cheers to a great bakery!

    Thanks so much for linking up with us!

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  4. I am currently in the middle of dealing with a caterer (that I have a phone call with tonight) who originally said she could do the number of people and the location, and then AFTER receiving our deposit has express concerns over that many people at the venue. I am somewhat dreading the call tonight, but also very prepared to tell her that my plans for a dinner (and seats for everyone) are non-negotiable - eek!
    I think I also mentioned to you previously about some "new Catholic" issues, and we are still trying to work through those! Congratulations! You are so close!!

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    1. Good luck tonight! Be firm and stand your ground. I told my lady I WILL HAVE PUMPKIN CUPCAKES and I am...I came out on top and she lost business. Don't be afraid to call out the fact that she assured you your guest number and food selections were achievable prior to you booking her venue. Lastly you know you can email me anytime about any Catholic wedding situations and I'll do my very best to help. #GetItGirl

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  5. I. love. you. and would almost pay money to see you get your Elin Woods on.

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    1. HAHAHA Robyn! I bet a lot of people would pay good money for that. You know how I am...my way or I'll barricade your highway :)

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  6. LOL, I just died at the pumpkin story. But honest to god who cannot get pumpkin in October??! This blog is everything

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  7. Girl, I just found you & I'm so glad I did because your stories are amazing! I can't believe that lady didn't have pumpkin in October!

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  8. Wedding planning is definitely stressful! I'm sure the cathedral will be absolutely perfect, and I'm glad you were able to get the pumpkin spice thing worked out!! :)

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  9. Wedding planning is definitely stressful! I'm sure the cathedral will be absolutely perfect, and I'm glad you were able to get the pumpkin spice thing worked out!! :)

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  10. I totally just laughed out loud at the Elin Woods reference - that was amazing hahaha! And girl, I'm sorry you're running into so many issues! Thankfully I didn't have much like that, but I had a verrryyy short fuse when I was engaged so I totally get it ;) Can't believe you're down to only 24 days!!!

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  11. Oh girl you have been through the ringer but you are really getting done to the final days! YAY!! I hope everything is up from here! It's so fun that your friend is starting her own event business, the wedding and creative industry is a great one to be in <3

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  12. Hmm I knew there were a lot of requirements to get married in a Catholic church, but I didn't realize they had to approve your dress! I guess that makes sense, but I would've made a big deal over all of these things too. Everything is going to work out perfect no matter what happens!

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    1. Each parish is different. Some don't care about the necklines of dresses at all and some do. All churches can be that way though. I've known a few {non-Catholic} churches that wouldn't allow a mother to walk her daughter down the aisle which I thought was crazy! I was raised by my {single} mom and that was the first thing I asked before we booked the church. They said OF COURSE! Had they told me otherwise I already had a letter drafted to send to sweet Pope Francis lol! Everything except the dress has been super flexible and laid back with the church and I believe everything happens for a reason because I LOVEEEEE my dress :)

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  13. Thankfully I haven't had to deal with many no's...yet! However I can definitely see tears being shed and a lot of private ranting in my head happening!! - Svetlana @Life With a Side of Wine

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